Surfacing
by Little Kunai
Summary: Hige's long repressed memories come to the surface of his mind just before he dies.


**Surfacing**

Disclaimer: I do not own Wolf's Rain

**#01 Waiting**-Hige was waiting. Waiting to feel Tsume's sharp fangs ripping his throat out. He'd heard a human once say that your whole life flashed right before your eyes when you were about to die. He wondered if that was true for wolves too and then they began. He looked at Blue, his beloved Blue, whose blood stained the snow. Her cold blue eyes were glassy and stared at nothing at all. Hang on Blue I'm coming. He thought.

**#02 Mother**-Darkness and warmth, a comforting mass of soft fur. He opened his eyes to see his mother, tired and anxious and so sad, licking his body with her soft tongue. He snuggled closer to her side, snuffling and whimpering, struggling feebly with his brothers and sisters to get to the sweet milk they knew she provided.

**#03 Death-**"No! You can't take them! I won't let you!" His mother, his constant source of food and warmth and comfort stood over them. Lips lifted over sharp fangs, face contorted into a menacing snarl.

The beautiful green-haired woman laughed. It was not a nice sound at all. "I never said you had a choice."

"Neither did I!" His mother snarled and leaped and there was a loud noise that made Hige whimper and crawl backwards. That noise hurt his ears but what he saw hurt his heart. His beautiful, brave mother would never get up again.

**#04 The Pack-**Hige was running with a pack. The old she-wolf who lead it was so nice to take him in. Hige was glad to have a family, even if it meant that he didn't get to eat all the time. Plus there was a pretty young white wolf there, who sent him flirtatious glances and whispered and giggled in his ear.

**#05 Betrayal-**Hige found his way into Jagura's dome. He had promised the pack that there would be lots of food there. The old she wolf was wary, she didn't like getting to close to human settlements. But the pack was starving and she really felt she had no other choice. So she trusted Hige's judgment.

"You betrayed us you bastard! We took you in and you sold us out to the enemy! How could you?"

"I didn't-I didn't betray you I swear!" Hige pleaded, unable to understand what was going on, or why this felt familiar as if he'd done this a hundred times before.

"Quiet! Be quiet! Be quiet! I don't want to hear your lies anymore! You are not fit to be called a wolf!"

Hige could only watch in misery as Jagura's troops took them away. The hatred in their eyes scorching his soul. He would never forget it.

**#06** **Forget-**Hige struggled and squirmed as the man caught him by the scruff of his neck. All he knew was that he wanted his mother and brothers and sisters. The collar begin to emit high frequency noises and Hige squealed and whined, howled and whimpered. The noise was bad, so bad it hurt his head! Putting his paws over his ears didn't help and his breathing became harsh and ragged. When he woke up Hige had forgotten that he'd had ever had brothers and sisters and a mother who'd died trying to protect them. He forgot everything.

**#07 Pups-**Hige could only gaze down in wonder at the pups he had fathered. His mate Mikoto nuzzled him happily. "Oh Hige, they are so beautiful. I'm going to make sure nothing ever happens to them." Hige settled down with the beautiful gray wolf and his wonder began to dim. Somewhere deep down was a dark sense of foreboding.

**#08 Freeze City-**It was cold and he was tired and hungry. His feet felt like lead and his lips were so numb he didn't think he could even speak. But his sensitive nose caught something, it was such a sweet and wonderful smell that made him become unaware of the sharp, biting winds and deep snow beneath his paws. He sniffed and sniffed and the only thing he could think about was finding the source of that wonderful smell. He passed into the city dome unaware that by doing so he sealing his fate.

**#09 Kiba-**On his quest to find that wonderful smell, his nose got sidetracked by the scent of blood and fur. Following his nose he found a white wolf, badly injured and struggling to open his eyes.

**#10 Pull-**He heard it, sensed it, knew that something was calling out to him. Like a sleepwalker he followed that strange pulling sensation. Leaving Toboe farther and farther behind. Muttering to himself, determined. It had a strong pull. Stronger even then Cheza's pull on him and it was familiar, so very familiar.

**#11 Collar-**He had asked Kiba once what it had felt like in that Garden of Plenty or whatever it was the old chief had called it. Kiba had said that his memories were gone. Hige had a weird feeling in his gut then and the old man had given him a knowing look. Hige was watching his memories fade away now as that awful noise echoed through his head. Blue was frantic, asking him what was wrong when unbidden, a memory had surfaced. He begged her to take it off. The noise was bad and he knew somehow that the collar was the cause of it. Repeating her name in his head was the only thing that made him remember her at all. He had never felt so free when he finally got rid of the damn thing!

**#12 Out in the Cold-**Hige remembered being pushed out of the warmth of Jagura's City for the very first time. He had no idea where to go and the soldiers threw things at him when he tried to come back in. The snow was gently falling to the ground and Hige could only claw and whine at the reinforced glass doors of the city. Finally one frustrated soldier took a shot at him and Hige fled out into the cold night.

**#13 Freedom**-"Please put me down. I'm in an awful lotta pain here." Hige found himself pleading with Tsume. Above him Tsume frowned. For Hige it wasn't just the physical pain, that didn't matter much at the moment, it was the pain of memories he never knew he'd had resurfacing. The pain of losing his beloved Blue, his mother, Mikoto, his brothers and sister, the runt. All of them. When Tsume's sharp fangs sliced into his flesh Hige knew he was finally free.


End file.
